We’re officially a week away from the start of the Mariners’ 50th season, and we all know how the first 49 turned out - they fell short of the World Series.

Every other major league team has been to the World Series but your Seattle Mariners, the saddest sacks of all for nearly half a century.

How many times in March have you thought “this is the year,” and by the middle of April you thought “well, maybe not.”

As fun as the Seahawks’ Super Bowl victory over the Patriots was last month, it won’t match the celebration when the Mariners finally go to a World Series and win the whole damn thing.

For the Seahawks, that was their fourth appearance at a Super Bowl and second Lombardi Trophy. They’re known for being good while the Mariners are known for being one of the following since 1977:

A) Terrible.

B) Not bad, just not good enough.

C) Pretty good, but refer to point B.

D) Really good, but they’ve managed to screw it up anyway.

E) Terrific, but refer to point D.

Something always stops them, whether it’s too many marginal players, too many injuries or the simple fact that the baseball gods have a sick sense of humor and amuse themselves by sticking pins in their heavenly voodoo Mariner bobbleheads every season and laugh hysterically when they’re mathematically eliminated in August.

I think we can agree that this year seems different from the rest, can’t we? They’re well-equipped to end the World Series drought, aren’t they?

Even Vegas thinks the Mariners have a good shot to become MLB champions in 2026. Only the Dodgers at 2 1/2-1 and the Yankees at 10-1 have shorter odds to win the World Series than the Mariners at 12-1.

As opposed to the analytics crowd that uses advanced metrics to provide their well-informed insight, I use something pre-historic in design but has served me well when it comes to offering opinions on the Mariners…

Two blue eyes.

Those two blue eyes don’t give a damn about WAR and WHIP. They care more about ERA and RBIs.

They don’t see exit-velo. They see hard-hit balls.

They cringe when they hear launch angle. They sparkle when they see line drives.

And what they see this year are the fewest weaknesses in any team in franchise history, and that includes the 2001 squad that won 116 games.

Scoff if you want, analytics nerds, I see what I see, and you can tell me I need to go to an optometrist, and I’ll tell you to shove it, OK?

I see spectacular things at catcher, in center field and on the mound, whether it’s the starters or the relievers.

I see borderline spectacular and solid at the very least at third base with Brendan Donovan and at first base with Josh Naylor.

I also see possible issues at shortstop with J.P. Crawford and second base with Cole Young.

And I’m not sold on the right-field platoon with Victor Robles and Dom Canzone.

The biggest blue-eyed concern? Randy Arozarena in left field. He finished last season hitting .212 in August, .220 in September and .188 in the playoffs.

His defense is below average and the same goes for his attention span and effort level. Arozarena has a tendency to occasionally saunter after balls in left field and a maddening habit of stepping out of the box once in a while before a pitch crosses home plate.

I still find him entertaining and productive enough to warrant his $15.6 million salary this year, and I don’t think he’s to blame as much as Cal Raleigh is in the handshake that wasn’t in the World Baseball Classic.

You must know about that incident by now. I’m just going to assume that’s the case because it’s been talked about and dissected every which way for more than a week now, to the point that fans are now saying the media is blowing it out of proportion.

They’re right, those guys in the media, always trying to stir things up, gawd I hate them, they all suck, what a bunch of losers.

But if I’m not mistaken, we’re not the ones who caused this little kerfuffle. And no one would write about this anymore if Arozarena had simply taken the high road and said he was sorry for criticizing Raleigh for not shaking his hand even if he didn’t sincerely feel that way. Especially after Raleigh said he didn’t have a “beef” with Arozarena.

The biggest reason why those media losers are making a big deal out of this? Because it’s a season in which the Mariners are poised to do something the Mariners have never done before. No one wants any little thing like this to get in the way of that happening. But if it does, it would be in keeping with their predictable past of always finding a banana peel somewhere along the way.

There’s no way those analytics goofs can measure these kinds of things. That’s where the blue eyes come in handy. If Randy gets off to a slow start, I think we’ll see bad body language followed by the likelihood that his unhappiness seeps into the clubhouse and has an adverse intangible impact on the team.

If I’m reading too much into this, my apologies, keep in mind that I’m a media loser and I’d appreciate it if you cut me some slack.

But just to be on the safe side, hope and pray that Arozarena gets off to a red-hot start and shoots a bunch of jump shots while rounding third base after hitting another home run. A really happy Randy in March and April could put all of the WBC nonsense in the rearview mirror for good.

No matter what transpires, I’m going to overlook the possible flaws and negative developments by insisting that the Mariners are finally going to appear in the World Series and beat the overpaid Dodgers in seven games.

I’m so convinced that I’m putting $500 of my sort-of hard-earned money on the Mariners at 12-1 to win the World Series, and I’ll end up being one thing or another - a brilliant blue-eyed prognosticator who is $6,000 richer or truly a media loser after all.

Jim Moore has covered Washington’s sports scene from every angle for multiple news outlets. He appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 10 a.m. on Jason Puckett’s podcast at PuckSports.com. He writes a Substack blog at jimmoorethego2guy.substack.com. You can find him on X (formerly Twitter) @cougsgo.